Geriatric piss-stain

A geriatric piss-stain is a...erm... 'older' driver that pulls out on you from a petrol garage, only to then drive in front of you, take the turn you want to take, then inexplicably turn back into the petrol garage...very slowly.

Dinner?

Me "What you doing about dinner tonight?"
TrumpetBum "Sleep"

Über-c*ntage

Über-c*ntage is simply used to describe Alan Green - Commentator.

Also usable is "C*ntard"

"Those that can...do. Those that can't...talk bollocks about it"
TrumpetBum, 17th April, 2:15pm

Crotch Monkey

TrumpetBum doesn't know what a Crotch Monkey is...he just likes the expression.

Archie the Polar Bear

TrumpetBum says that polar bears are cool and he wants one.

If he had one, he believes it would be called Archie and that he would be a friendly polar bear.

Decaying Monkey Testicles

TrumpetBum believes that, when something sucks, it sucks decaying monkey testicles

Dick Munch

A Dick Munch is somebody that pulls out in front of you when you're trying to overtake them.

Technical terms

"Was that a technical term? Yes and here's another...go to hell"

Nut Cutlets

TrumpetBum finds the words Nut Cutlets very amusing, he actually giggles...but he's not entirely sure why.

F**king C**tbag of a Whore

A F**king C**tbag of a Whore is someone that complains about everything, including you, even when you have done everything that you can to help them. They also choose to ignore things that have been explained to them repeatedly.

Toilet Chair

TrumpetBum believes that having a toilet as a chair at your work desk would be the most convenient thing in the world

Bollock Munch

A bollock munch is...

...anybody that gets in TrumpetBum's way.

Toss Weasel

A toss weasel is...

...someone that has access to downloadable content for Mass Effect 2, that people in the UK do not.

Other examples of toss weasels are...

The powers that be at Dr Pepper, Bioware, Electronic Arts that have made it so.