Geriatric piss-stain

A geriatric piss-stain is a...erm... 'older' driver that pulls out on you from a petrol garage, only to then drive in front of you, take the turn you want to take, then inexplicably turn back into the petrol garage...very slowly.

Dinner?

Me "What you doing about dinner tonight?"
TrumpetBum "Sleep"

Über-c*ntage

Über-c*ntage is simply used to describe Alan Green - Commentator.

Also usable is "C*ntard"

"Those that can...do. Those that can't...talk bollocks about it"
TrumpetBum, 17th April, 2:15pm

Crotch Monkey

TrumpetBum doesn't know what a Crotch Monkey is...he just likes the expression.

Archie the Polar Bear

TrumpetBum says that polar bears are cool and he wants one.

If he had one, he believes it would be called Archie and that he would be a friendly polar bear.

Decaying Monkey Testicles

TrumpetBum believes that, when something sucks, it sucks decaying monkey testicles

Dick Munch

A Dick Munch is somebody that pulls out in front of you when you're trying to overtake them.